First things first: I'm sorry it's taken so long to write. We returned from Egypt just a few days ago (hence the pictures) and i've been trying to recover from the wonderful trip as fast as possible, but it seems my recovery didn't include writing a blog post. Although i feel like i should write about my time in Egypt, i'd rather like to focus this post on something that happened today here in Amman, because i feel like i've ignored subjects on this city for almost my entire time here. As might be expected with my writings, I haven't really thought out my ideas that are about to come, but rather hope to work them out through this entry... so stick with me if you wish. Otherwise you might just skip to the last paragraph (if there is one) and see what I'm saying there to see if it interests you.
So today after class I attended a lecture on "honer crimes" in Jordan, given by a Jordanian journalist Rana Husseini (female). Although i might have missed out on some of the information given in the lecture because i opted to not listen to the translator (the lecture was in Arabic), there were definitely general feelings that i picked up on that i'd like to discuss here. When thinking about the lecture in the taxi back home there were multiple thoughts stumbling through my mind. The first, was my reaction to the general feeling of reform and initiative for reform that i got from the lecture. Rana's stance was interesting, because while she made clear that she saw her only job as kind of "getting the news out there" (perhaps only a small, but nonetheless huge step for the process of ending honor crimes/ any type of crimes in general), she also pinpointed the very aspects of society that she felt needed to be changed... mostly emphasizing development in Education, cultural awareness, government awareness and intiative, and things like this. As soon as i heard this point, i thought back to our lecture with Mustafa Hamarneh, where he spoke about the "passivity" of the people on some level, particularly concerning political initiative and self-help orientation... I then thought back to the students in the group who then made it there job to "find the rebelious voice of Jordan" and find the grassroots organizations/movements of the Jordanian people.... Here in this small theatre, with no sign on front, or indication that it was a theatre, i felt as if i found some of those voices. But at the same time, I couldn't help but notice the socio-economic groupings. I'd say about half of the audience was foreign, listening to the lecture through a headset with English translation, the other half, seemingly arab. Obviously I can never know for sure the economic standings of these Arabs, but they appeared to me to be of the upper-mid class. I thought while in the lecture, about how a crowd of lower class, less educated Jordanians would take Rana's lecture. Aren't those the people that should be hearing her speak? Aren't those the people that we should be in conversation with? What really is the point of having this lecture to an audience that can simply nod their heads in agreement? These of course are questions that i should've been asking those around me, and possibly Rana herself, because i don't know that she hasn't taken lectures to these communities... but it was just a thought. the rebellion of the upper educated class against traditions that they don't associate with in the first place? does that work?
Another topic that i really want to address was the place of "Jordan" in her lecture. Rana made many points throughout her lecture noting that these problems of honor killings aren't a Jordanian problem, but rather a global one. She read letters from Australian children after her works had been published, that claimed how happy they were to have the freedoms they do in juxtoposition to the "poor" Jordanian women. One of the foreigners in the audience also tried to ask a question about how Jordanians (men and women) can really open up a discussion/ dialogue on women's sexuality here and how that might positively affect the picture and agency of Jordanian women against these crimes. Rana never really answered the question, because i fear she didn't really understand it... although at one point in the lecture (i'm not sure if it was actually in response to this question or not) she claimed that the west has a problem with dipping its hand in matters that aren't theirs, making it clear that the problem of these killings is something that Jordanians needed to deal with and handle, and not western organizations. It thus seemed at once that Jordan was an actor in crimes that are world spread, but also specific to itself? So when the foreigner tried to pose the question about "opening up a dialogue" was he simply preposing an outside idea that has no resonance with the community here? Is opening up a dialogue the only solution, or is it a "western" solution, that shouldn't necessarily apply to "arab culture" in Jordan? Perhaps the simple reason Rana didn't follow up with this man's question was because it got lost in translation, but i still can't help but feeling the gap of basic understanding between the two. It's like that feeling i get when hanging out with my few jordanian friends, and they begin singing a song well known by them, one known from childhood, one that everyone joins in as soon as started... and reminds me of some of the basic life happenings and communications that are amiss between us. On one level i feel like i over emphasize such small differences, but at the same time, I feel I can never truly know how big a gap these small morsels of experience make between us. And not to say that such a gap can never be breeched, but rather that i have so many things to learn before i can even really know how big such a gap is.
And just to return to this western/arab world/jordan dichotomy... When Rana spoke of an inspiring group of Arab men in Sweden called Sharaf heros... or Honor heros... she emphasized how surprised and elated she was to hear of a group of Arabs makings such a movement against these crimes. The point i'm trying to make is that she emphasized these crimes as one's that needed to be solved by "arabs."
I guess i'm just getting sick of trying to work out this west/arab binary. Sitting around arguing about if there is a west or an arab, and how we can and can't understand each other, or how we continue these "binaries" by continually talking about them really just bums me out and seems to lead no where. But is my frustration because i'm stuck in the language trap of former political movements, academics, and such, or because there really does exist such a gap that can't be passed, or because i just feel helpless when nothing is getting done regardless of whether there is a difference or not. How can i change my vocabulary and perspective to really see problems as they are and to see a way to solve them? Will i constantly be stuck in a culturally "aware" and overly conscientious zone that keeps me from doing anything as i claim theories of cultural relativism? Should i stay in my own business and deal with problems in my own country... but how does that work seeing as sometimes the differences between myself and those within my own country seem bigger than the with people here? I don't have answers for these questions right now, and i don't know that i should. These are just my thoughts.
