Determined to keep up with this...

This will be another quick one. We're in the final stages of orientation at the moment... having finished up our placement exams for Arabic, and gone over where and who our homestay will be (that we're moving into tomorrow). I'm still stuck not quite knowing what to make of this experience... i still feel like i'm just on a tour (perhaps because we haven't started classes yet). I can't wait to get back into the stress of information overflow on the mind. once again, i feel as if there is so/too much to learn, i just hope i can take it all in. Somethings that i'm trying to keep in mind as we move through these processes together. What things are my privelege making me overlook... who/what/where/ and why am i not seeing/understanding something around me? I feel like this program is so structured that my experience is pre-packaged. Which is both comforting but also not... what things do i need to change in my mindset to really be aware of what i'm doing here?

Luckily yesterday i got a chance to catch up with Paul, one of my (our) friends from Syria as he was staying down in Amman for break. We exchanged gifts and things, but most importantly stories about the happenings in Damascus, and the well-being of my friends. I also recieved an email today from Owais (ath-thanee... i.e. the owais that was the son of my tutor) and for the first time i really felt as if i missed my teacher and her family very very much, and sincerely. perhaps because it just feels awkward for me to feel so comfortable here in Amman, because my experience in Damascus was just so emotionally taxing... it's as if i actually miss the social pressures that made me uncomfortable for so long, because otherwise i feel like i'm just having a fake experience... does that even make sense? Luckily though, i'm moving into my host family tomorrow. i found out today that it's actually quite a big family... 2 parents (father a doctor with private practice, mother a supervisor at an Arabic school, 22 year old son, 20 year old daughter, 14 year old daughter, 7 year old son). It's definitely going to be interesting to see how the size of the family and their ages all interact. I'm really looking forward to it. (i feel like i've said those last two phrases about 100 times in the past hour... with all our conversations of what to expect from living arrangements with rural and local homestays).

so i don't know. i'm happy. i kind of feel like i'm out of reality and i need someone to snap me back into it, but i'm just going to do what i can. we'll see. ok, we're heading out to the mall/dinner. exploration time.

peace